Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Children grow up and fly away!!!


My last few blogs have been rather heavy so today I am writing about life.... now isn't that amazing? LOL

Last Sunday our oldest son Noah, took off on a cross country flight for a job interview, all the way to Charlotte North Carolina!!! Now that is a long ways from Redding California for those of you did not know.

I was so proud of him getting the job interview, but I also was really, really sad that it was so far away. I mean we have our children so that when we are old they can be around for us to annoy, right? I mean we paid our dues; long all nighters with crying babies, sick children, and all of those school activities and parent club meetings, YIKES!! And then just when it is about the time that we are going to cash in on all those sleepless nights those darn kids up and move across the country from us, or at least they try to.

But to be honest I am so proud of both of our sons, they are both hard working, responsible citizens who have great hearts not only for their families but for people in general.

If Noah and his wife are blessed to be able to move to another state I would be thrilled for them.

I have lived in or around the same city all of my life, because that is where my family was. When we got married, and through the years my wife and I have both had opportunities to take jobs away from where we grew up, but we chose to stay near family. Not that that has been a bad decision, it is just the decision that we made. And over the years we have both asked each other " What if " we had taken that job in another state.

I hope and pray that Noah gets a job that takes him places that I have never been before. He has already flown on an airplane, something I have never done, and been to more states than I have, I am so happy for him.

Even as a little boy Noah always wanted to live in a big city, where there was lots to do. So I am praying that he gets to live in a big city, and gets to do what ever it is that he wants/ needs to do in that big city. He will always be my little blond headed boy, smiling up at me no matter where he lives, or how far away.

So as I sit here writing this I am a bit sad, thinking about him moving so far away, but I know he has to make his way in the world. And in his profession you need to be in bigger cities to get better jobs that pay more.

But at no time when my boys were growing up did I ever think that they would live far away from us, just me being a bit naive I think, but the time has come if not this job interview, then the next one, he is going to move; it is just a matter of time. And so I have time to prepare myself, though I can tell you I won't, I will live in denial for as long as I can..... then I will wish him and his wife the best of luck and send them on their way to bigger and better things......

You know life has a way of making you consider things you never thought you would .... in This journey we call life..... Some of them good things and some of them just things..... but no matter where our kids live they are are always our little bundles of joy...... even if they are over 6 feet tall!!!
Blessings to you and yours
Curtis & Sherrie

Friday, October 15, 2010

Life's bumps in the road.....

This week we received a phone call from our youngest son telling us that he is leaving his wife and getting a divorce. He asks if he can move home for a while to regroup,and we said of course.

This was not a total surprise because in their almost 3 years of marriage his wife had done some things that were lets just say very difficult to deal with and leave it at that.

No matter what the situation is ending a marriage is at best difficult. For the two people involved, their families and their friends. Now my first reaction is to want to give her a piece of my mind, she has hurt my baby, my youngest and I want revenge and I want it swift and complete! But my more mature side (and I am talking about my wife now) tells me that I need to calm down and not get involved that it will in time resolve itself. I defer to her recommendations, though I still want to have my say!!!

My son however is the one going through this. We love them, raise them, keep them safe and away from life's hurts and harm. And then they grow up, and we can no longer keep them safe, keep them from getting hurt...... and that hurts us because as parents it is always our job to keep our children safe.

When my son called and we talked for over an hour on the phone, he sounded resolved, a bit defeated, and very solemn. This was not like our fun loving son. But he is hurting and this too will pass. As I start my ranting about how could she do this to you blah blah blah, my son stops me and says " Dad I don't hate her, I am even over being mad at her, I just can no longer live this way. I want to be happy and I want her to be happy and Dad the two of us together do not make each other happy." That took the wind out of my sails, my anger subsided, and I thought WOW, what a mature and wise way to look at this. They are no longer going to be a couple, they are going to go their separate ways, and we are ever thankful that they did not have children.

So my son one of the loves of my life is going to be single again, living at home with his mother and I for a while. That is not such a bad thing. I grieve for the loss of a marriage because I believe in marriage and it is always sad when a marriage ends, because in order for it to get to that point there have been two people who have been suffering and living a life that neither of them thought they would on that wonderful day when they said "I do." We as a family will heal, we will move on, we will always love each other. And I truly in time hope that I can be as thoughtful,and mature as my son and not want to hate this person who has hurt my child. I will pray to that end.

But for now I will have to just say that I will tolerate her if I see her, that I truly do not wish her ill will. I wish for her is that she finds happiness, both with herself and in the future choices she makes. I also wish the same for my son, because, even though I do love him I know that he is not perfect and that he made mistakes too.

So I sign off today with a heavy heart, full of love for a son who is hurting, full of tolerance for a soon to be no longer daughter in law. I will get through this I will learn from this because I feel that everything that happens to a family happens for a reason and we must learn from it, all of us or we are destined to repeat some of the things over and over, and I for one do not want to see my children hurting. So friends love those in your family, love those who married into your family, love those who may be leaving your family, for this is a lesson I am going to have to work on as I travel through this journey called life.

Blessings to you and yours
Curtis & Sherrie

Monday, October 11, 2010

Sunday Dinners

So yesterday was Sunday, ah that wonderful day the last day of the week end, a day of worship, and for you sports fans a day of ... put in the name of the sport , team that you love to see/ watch. I myself am not a big sports fan, in fact I will only see one football game a year and that is the Homecoming game for our families Alma mater.

Yes both my wife and I, and our children all went to the same high school. Central Valley High School, go Falcons!!! And we all try to go to Homecoming each year, we do not always make it but we try. This year all of us are going to be there, my wife and I , our sons and their wives, our best friends from High School, their children a great time to reconnect and just have some fun. But my thoughts wander, this has nothing to do with Sunday Dinners.

Yesterday we invited our boy's and their spouses, and my wife's parents to our home for dinner. Only our oldest son and his wife could make it, as our youngest son and his wife were already going to a Bar B Que at a friends and they were going to watch the football game.

So we were there just the 6 of us breaking bread, eating homemade Lasagna, French Bread, Salad, and of course a wonderful dessert. Not that the food is important, but for what reason I do not know, Sunday's have always been Italian food days at our house, we are not Italian, but I do love Italian food, and I do make a mean Lasagna!

It is the mere act of being together, sharing our lives, our daily grinds if you will, with each other, that makes these time special. Participating in each others lives in a way that draws us closer as a family.

Both of our sons have gotten married over the last 3 years. These dinners have allowed us the wonderful opportunity to get to know our daughter in laws. To share with them, love them, let them know that we are a FAMILY and that we help each other through the good times and the difficult ones.

I love it when we can all get together for times like these. Yesterday was different, somewhat bittersweet, because our son is looking for a new job, in his chosen field of television production, but one that pays more. We have known for some time that he would be looking for a new job, and I must say I have not been looking forward to this, because it will mean that he and his wife will have to move, and not just a few miles away but probably across the country. So yesterday as we sat there laughing, talking, sharing... I was taken back by the mere thought that times like these might be ending soon, that my son and his wife will not be able to come HOME for dinner, to break bread, talk, laugh, and enjoy each others company. My wife and I have never moved from the area that we grew up in, we chose to stay and be close to family, our choice but one that I felt and still do feel was the right choice for our family.

But our son wants to make his own way, make his own life and that includes moving. We know that once he and his wife move they in all likelihood ever live here in our city again. I have so many mixed emotions about this, but I try to put on my supportive good father face and deal with it. I know the day will come, and it will be sooner than I want that they will no longer be able to come to Sunday dinners at our home, but for now I will cherish each and every time that they can come. Savoring their company, my sons wonderful sense of humor, his wife's ability to blend in with this at times crazy family.

So if you have dinners with your family be they on a Sunday or any other day of the week. Enjoy each and every minute you have to spend with your family because you never know how long you may have all of them with you.

Blessings to you and yours
Curtis & Sherrie