Friday, February 25, 2011

Today is the day

Well today is the day, the day I have been writing about, dreading, trying to ignore. But it is here and let me tell you it is harder than I ever imagined. What? you say, today my son and his wife left to move on to bigger and better things.

Today is the day that Noah and Kristen left their home town, where they both grew up, went to school, made life long friends, met each other, dated, and got married, and today they left to move to Fresno California.

I kept it together at all of the going away/ good bye parties, smiling, laughing, telling myself that I would not let it out in public. But last night as I went to bed I had this over whelming sadness come over me. I know for those of you who have had their children move away, this is all old hat. But for me, for my world, for my life this is HUGE!! I have stated here that never in my wildest thoughts did I ever let myself come to grips with Noah moving. I knew in my head, because he has always told me he wanted to move away, but I in my Polly Anna and yes even MEN have Polly Anna thought processes would I let myself think that this would happen. Fast forward to today........ and the reality is OVERWHELMING.

For from today on we can never call them up on Saturday and say "Hey you want to meet us for breakfast?" From today on we can never call them up and say " Hey we are meeting at so and so's house want to come join us?" From today on they will not be able to make it to family birthday parties,(now don't tell my wife but this might be a plus for all of those toddler parties we are still attending). From today on there will be an empty place at the table when we have family dinners. From today on Face book, texts, phone calls, and twitter, yes I will learn how to twitter, will be our means of communication.

So today I am allowing myself to have a pity party, to cry, even sob, because my son has moved on to another city, because today I cannot drive over to my son's house to see him, because today my son has moved away.

But tomorrow and every day after I am going to continue to be proud, be excited, be the best cheer leader that I can possibly be. Because I know that is what my job is from this day forward. So starting tomorrow I will be happy for my kids, be joyful when they find a new Church home, be over joyed when they tell us of all of the wonderful new and exciting things they are find out about there new city of residence.

So I thank you for letting me vent today. I know that so many of you have already gone down this road before me and I will survive, I will.... but today I am missing my little blond headed boy who used to run out the front door when I came home from work to see, I miss that at times surly middle aged boy who was trying so hard to grow up, and today I am missing that wonderfully funny and fun young man that went to high school. And today I am missing my absolutely amazing son who has grown into a man that I am so proud of that I can hardly stand it. Today I am grieving just a bit for things the way they were and the way I wanted them to be......... as I have said in this blog before, Life is about changing NOTHING ever stays the same.... it is how we deal with those changes that makes the difference. So I sign off today sending Blessings to you and yours, and asking that you might send a prayer for my son and his wife settle into their new city............
Blessings to you and yours

1 comment:

  1. Oh Curtis, I am sorry to hear you are having a difficult time. Though I have not had a child move away, I know how hurt can overwhelm the heart and mind. My thoughts are with you as you weather this season of your life. Blessings, Amber