Wednesday, June 27, 2012

This I know.....

It has been a journey these past few months, and I have learned a few things from everything that I have experienced. You see my dad, my only living parent was diagnosed with Cancer the week before Thanksgiving 2011. That began a whirlwind of emotions, and appointments, and family drama that I have not experienced since the death of my mother, from Cancer 18 years ago. So we made it through Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year's, and my dad's 79th birthday. We had a huge birthday party for him, like no other, family came from across the United States and we partied, we visited, we loved on each other, and for the most part we ignored the elephant in the room..... CANCER. My dad went to U C Davis for the initial diagnosis and scheduled treatment which would include a life changing surgery. We drove back and forth, from our home in French Gulch to Sacramento, again and again and again. Each trip becoming more and more difficult, but you do what you have to do. The day before we were to leave for the surgery at U C Davis, my dad called me and my brother who was here from South Dakota, he wanted to talk to us. We drove again, to his house this time, a bit closer..... and he told us..... he was not going to have the surgery, he was not going to live being sick from the treatment, he was not going to spend what little quality time he had left here on Earth in a hospital bed. He was, in fact going to spend his time doing what he wanted to do, how he wanted to do it, and with those he loved, not doctors, nurses, and bed pans. I paniced, told him that he had to have the surgery, that not doing this was certainly a death sentence.............. and this is what I learned from this man who is my dad ........................ That you live YOUR life on your terms, this includes how you choose to die. That you choose your path and do not let anyone choose it for you, you are the captain of your life ship. That it is o.k. to go against tradional wisdom, and practice. That no matter what it is HIS life, and we are his children, we are to just walk beside him and support HIM in his life and death decisions. That I can do this, no matter how much it can hurt at times, and how much I want to make it better for him. That we all have a path to walk down, and this path is OUR path. The initial diagnosis was that my dad had 6 months, that was 7 months ago..... and he is still doing o.k. He had never once complained, asked why, or said anything but positive things. He has told me from the day of his diagnosis that he is ready to meet the Lord, that he has made peace with all of this and it is going to be o.k. If only I could do that..... I try but I struggle with being so positive, but I truly appreciate the fact that he is so positive and that he does not fear death. So we walk down this road my dad and I, talking every day of life's mundane things, the weather, the price of gas, what he ate for dinner, breakfast, lunch..... and every time that I see him he has lost a little more weight, the tumor is more and more visible, and still he smiles and tells me everything is alright. You see that is what a parent does for their child, tells them that everything will be alright.... Today, June 27, 2012 my dad is still with us, still able to laugh, smile, joke and carry on his life on HIS terms..... that I can be this brave if I am ever put in this type of situation. I love this man I call dad, William Curtis Chipley Sr., my name sake, though we just call him dad........... So for today and every day, tell your loved ones you love them, spend some time with them, be gracious to them, be kind to them, for you never know how long you have with them. I will keep you posted as to how my dad is doing, I am now able to put into words how I feel about all of this, and it has not been easy, to lose one parent to Cancer is devastating, but to have both to be lost to it.... is just.....heart wrenching... But this I know...... I will survive..... I will love..... I will

No comments:

Post a Comment