Long Winters and Dreaming of Spring

Here in Northern California we have had a very long winter this year. I usually love the rain and cloudy days, but this year we have had them for so long... I am dreaming of Spring.

Dreaming of watching the budding of the leaves on all the trees, watching the flower buds swell just before they burst forth with all of their beauty and fragerance.

Dreaming of being able to sit on the deck or patio on a Saturday morning reading my paper, having a cup of coffee on the table and just breathing in the fresh air. Dreaming of having breakfast outside on the deck, just my wife and I, fresh fruit, mimosa's, fresh ground coffee beans making a wonderful French Pressed cup of coffee.

Dreaming of being able to work in my flower beds, filling them with sweet Pansies, Snap Dragons, Shasta Daisy's, wonderfully fragerant Petunias, oh I can close my eyes and just see them all now. Truth be told I have 5 flats of Pansies sitting on my deck right now waiting for the rains to stop so I can plant them in the flower beds.

Dreaming of coming home from work and having the sun still shining, going for a walk along the creek behind the house, listening to the birds sings, and watching the bee's buzz around pollinating the flowers and tree's. Looking and watching the water hoping to see a beautiful trout swim by. And on the first warm day of Spring putting my feet into the creek, the cold taking my breath away as I get used to it. Feeling so alive as Spring brings forth all of her beauty and life.

Dreaming of seeing the new born Fawns playing on the lawns in downtown French Gulch, with their spots all white and clean, looking so sweet and innocent. Dreaming of seeing the goslings, Canadian Honkers swiming in a small pond right off of our mountain road. All swimming in a straight line behind mom and dad, oh the wonder of Spring.

Dreaming of the cool of the night as it turns from dusk to night and the sky lights up with all of the wonderful bright stars. Looking up and wondering who else on the other side of the world might be looking at that same star I am gazing on right now. And this year for the first time, looking at the stars and wondering if my son and his wife might be looking at them from their new home, and we for a moment in time could be connecting looking at that same star...

So what are you dreaming of right now? As we await the dawning of Spring, a new beginning? A new job? A new home? A new friend? We all need to dream, we all need to reach for that one lone star, hoping that we can reach it. I know that at times I am really talking out loud to myself in this blog, putting down in connected letters my feelings, wishes, dreams...... but I want you to also have the same, wishes, feelings, dreams..... so go ahead and dream of Spring, and the wonders that it brings forth, and for a moment just after dusk turns to night who knows, we maybe wishing on the same bright star.
Blessings to you and yours
Curtis

Coffee and a cozy shop

You know when you go into a shop, you immediately get a vibe good or bad about it. We all have these instincts, feelings about the place, the person waiting on us. Well here in our fair city of Redding, California, we have a wonderful little coffee shop, Breaking New Grounds.

No drive thru you have to get out of your car and go inside to get your coffee. As you enter the door you are greeted by the owner Lisa, in her cheery exuberant way, as if she is welcoming you into her home, you feel immediately at ease.

You order your coffee, bagel, or the BEST carrot cake ever, or a sundry of other pastries to go with your coffee.

Now I have been going to this little coffee shop for over a year now, so I do not even have to say my order, my coffee is poured, dark roast, room for cream, a bagel, just cheese on it, and my morning newspaper. I pay for it and sit at the counter.

In this past year as I have sat at this counter every morning Monday thru Friday, from 8:00am to 8:30am, I have met some amazing and wonderful people who also frequent this little coffee shop. From the workers in the offices around to locals like me who just drop by to start their day.

And through this year I have made friends, some closer than others but friends none the less. We have shared our lives with each other, we have supported each other, we have even cried with each other as life does at times deal us all blows that we need to be comforted from.

But as I have sat there on that bar stool at the counter in that little coffee shop I have learned some life lessons about not only myself but others as well. We all need to have a coffee shop where we can go and enjoy a cup of coffee with a side of kindness, and a real dose of life.

So today my hope is that you can find that little coffee shop, tea house, to just go to and sit and enjoy. Be able to make friends, share you life with them, support each other and just enjoy your time that you spend there. Because we all need a little kindness from strangers who can become our friends, In This Journey Called Life.
Blessings to you and yours
Curtis

Life and remembering our past

This morning as I logged into my computer, I immediately go to Facebook. Where did we all go before FB? There I saw an odd post from my cousin, just the name of her childhood friend, they started kindergarten together and here it is some 60 years later, that is another post. So being my flippant self I said something smart like " what is this name your childhood friend week?"

I immediately got an instant message from her. Her childhood friend, who she started kindergarten with, who she talked with about cute boys, who she told her most private secrets too, who was a cheerleader with in high school, who were bridesmaids in each others weddings, who she comforted when her teenage son died. Yes this friend whose family was well known in our small community, her mother was the librarian, had died....... commited suicide.

My heart broke for my cousin, for her friends family, friends, child. We have no other information just that she is gone, and her service will be on Saturday in a nearby town.

I have not seen this friend in years, but have so many fond memories of her, my youngest brother was the ring bearer at her wedding. I remember her and my cousin ironing their hair, and then ratting it up so high, and laughing, oh the laughter. For those of you who live in small towns or who grew up in one, you know how everyone knows everyone. We all knew each other, we all stopped in the store when we were kids with our moms and made small talk we all knew when something good or bad happened in thier lives.

Then we all grew up, moved on with our lives, married, had our own children, our town became bigger, our lives got busier with things to do, lot of things to do. We no longer stopped to talk with someone at the store, we no longer made the time to call someone.

We just got busy..... and with what? That is the question I have been asking myself today. Why are all of our lives so busy, spinning out of control at times and yet we have no time for people who are, were in our lives? No time to make that call, write that note, make that contact........

I will go to yet another funeral on Saturday.... say good bye to someone I have known and known about my entire life time. And I will ponder why did I not make the time, write the note.......

Our lives need to be about connecting with others, making a differce, leaving a legacy.... so the question I ask of not only you but myself today.... is just this,
When will we make the time, to make a differnce in someone else's life?? Something for not only me to ponder but for those around me also, I will be asking this of family, friends co workers...

Blessings to you and yours

Curtis

Today is the day

Well today is the day, the day I have been writing about, dreading, trying to ignore. But it is here and let me tell you it is harder than I ever imagined. What? you say, today my son and his wife left to move on to bigger and better things.

Today is the day that Noah and Kristen left their home town, where they both grew up, went to school, made life long friends, met each other, dated, and got married, and today they left to move to Fresno California.

I kept it together at all of the going away/ good bye parties, smiling, laughing, telling myself that I would not let it out in public. But last night as I went to bed I had this over whelming sadness come over me. I know for those of you who have had their children move away, this is all old hat. But for me, for my world, for my life this is HUGE!! I have stated here that never in my wildest thoughts did I ever let myself come to grips with Noah moving. I knew in my head, because he has always told me he wanted to move away, but I in my Polly Anna and yes even MEN have Polly Anna thought processes would I let myself think that this would happen. Fast forward to today........ and the reality is OVERWHELMING.

For from today on we can never call them up on Saturday and say "Hey you want to meet us for breakfast?" From today on we can never call them up and say " Hey we are meeting at so and so's house want to come join us?" From today on they will not be able to make it to family birthday parties,(now don't tell my wife but this might be a plus for all of those toddler parties we are still attending). From today on there will be an empty place at the table when we have family dinners. From today on Face book, texts, phone calls, and twitter, yes I will learn how to twitter, will be our means of communication.

So today I am allowing myself to have a pity party, to cry, even sob, because my son has moved on to another city, because today I cannot drive over to my son's house to see him, because today my son has moved away.

But tomorrow and every day after I am going to continue to be proud, be excited, be the best cheer leader that I can possibly be. Because I know that is what my job is from this day forward. So starting tomorrow I will be happy for my kids, be joyful when they find a new Church home, be over joyed when they tell us of all of the wonderful new and exciting things they are find out about there new city of residence.

So I thank you for letting me vent today. I know that so many of you have already gone down this road before me and I will survive, I will.... but today I am missing my little blond headed boy who used to run out the front door when I came home from work to see, I miss that at times surly middle aged boy who was trying so hard to grow up, and today I am missing that wonderfully funny and fun young man that went to high school. And today I am missing my absolutely amazing son who has grown into a man that I am so proud of that I can hardly stand it. Today I am grieving just a bit for things the way they were and the way I wanted them to be......... as I have said in this blog before, Life is about changing NOTHING ever stays the same.... it is how we deal with those changes that makes the difference. So I sign off today sending Blessings to you and yours, and asking that you might send a prayer for my son and his wife settle into their new city............
Blessings to you and yours
Curtis

Saying Good Bye and Hello to new Adventures

This past Sunday we had a open house, good bye party for our son, Noah and his wife Kristen. It was at best bitter sweet...............

Sherrie, my wife, baked for 3 days, she had decided that it would be a dessert open house. We had cookies, cake, pies, candy, diabetic cake, the table was laden with all of the goodies. Myself, I was in charge of the beverages. I made my famous citrus punch, chilled the wine, made coffee, iced tea, and hot tea. I Made sure all the glasses were spotless, my OCD kicking in , I hate glasses with spots.

I was also responsible for the fresh flower arrangements. You cannot have a party in my humble opinion without fresh flowers, it just is the exclamation point on the table.

So we got everything ready, and actually we were done early, note to self this does not happen very often, more often than not we are putting the final touches on things as the first guest arrives. You know the old adage that we work better under pressure, NOT. But we do it anyway.

So we get to sit and talk a bit as we wait for the kids to arrive and then the guests.

We talk about what this move will do for our family structure, and holidays, and just talk. I mention that we will not be able to call them on Saturday mornings and say, Hey you want to meet us at our favorite local place for breakfast.... no more calling for impromptu invitations to dinner and all the things that we will not be doing once they move. And just in the nick of time, the door bell rings, I was starting to feel sad, gloomy, and viola!!! saved by the door bell. Noah and Kristen arrive, and with them excitement for this move, excitement for a new adventure, excitement for a huge promotion with the new job. I try to grab onto their excitement, be happy for them, I want to be as excited as they are.

The door bell continues to ring, old friends come by, family comes by, new friends come by and it is non stop from 2 pm all the way til 8:30 pm. Well wishes, hand shakes, hugs, kisses all around everyone sharing in the kids excitement, and I watch.
I watch my son, so proud of himself, and his wife that they are in this economy moving upward in his career, moving up in the salary structure. I watch as family and friends share the happiness and excitement with them. And for a moment in time I stop and tell myself, this is what you raised him for, this is what you always wanted for your son, for him to be happy in his career, for him to find someone to love and share his life with, for him to be independent. I take it all in and I smile for the first time that day I smile, because I feel for a moment in time that I might have got it right, made some good decisions along the way as he was growing up. I felt proud of the man my little boy has become, felt proud of the person he was and will continue to be. Felt proud of the person he chose for his wife, Kristen is his yang in the yin and yang of life, they fit together, they love each other.

And at the end of the day, end of the party, I knew they would be alright, that in this big world, these 2 kids will move on and make their mark on the world. I am so proud, and yet sad at the same time, this too will pass, we will make the trip to Fresno many times to see them, see their new life, and be proud of who they have become and smile as I watch them make their way in this journey called life.
Blessings to you and yours
Curtis

Valentine's Day the day after Post

I was going to do this post yesterday but the day got away from me.......so here it is.

Yesterday was Valentine's Day..... begin the harps and love song melodies...... And while we do celebrate this day and love it, I want to propose something else, something more.

What would happen if we celebrated our loved ones every day? If we took the time to stop and tell them that we love them? we appreciate them? I for one think the world just might be a better place. We seem to have time for everything else.... television, computer games, running errands, so why don't we make time for LOVE?

It is my hope that maybe just maybe this year you would leave a love note for your spouse, child, parent, just because. That you would buy your significant other flowers just because, and if the season is right you don't have to buy them you can just pick a bouquet right from your own yard, or if you have a nice neighbor who has an abundance of flowers you might be able to talk them out of some flowers.

Taking the time to make others feel special, appreciated needs to be done all the time not just one day a year.

So take the time, make the time, make a plan, just do it!!! Make someone feel loved, appreciated, thought of, it will make their day!

Here is to hoping that this year you celebrate LOVE all year long!

Blessings to you and yours
Curtis & Sherrie

Valentine