Children grow up and fly away!!!

Hello!!

My last few blogs have been rather heavy so today I am writing about life.... now isn't that amazing? LOL

Last Sunday our oldest son Noah, took off on a cross country flight for a job interview, all the way to Charlotte North Carolina!!! Now that is a long ways from Redding California for those of you did not know.

I was so proud of him getting the job interview, but I also was really, really sad that it was so far away. I mean we have our children so that when we are old they can be around for us to annoy, right? I mean we paid our dues; long all nighters with crying babies, sick children, and all of those school activities and parent club meetings, YIKES!! And then just when it is about the time that we are going to cash in on all those sleepless nights those darn kids up and move across the country from us, or at least they try to.

But to be honest I am so proud of both of our sons, they are both hard working, responsible citizens who have great hearts not only for their families but for people in general.

If Noah and his wife are blessed to be able to move to another state I would be thrilled for them.

I have lived in or around the same city all of my life, because that is where my family was. When we got married, and through the years my wife and I have both had opportunities to take jobs away from where we grew up, but we chose to stay near family. Not that that has been a bad decision, it is just the decision that we made. And over the years we have both asked each other " What if " we had taken that job in another state.

I hope and pray that Noah gets a job that takes him places that I have never been before. He has already flown on an airplane, something I have never done, and been to more states than I have, I am so happy for him.

Even as a little boy Noah always wanted to live in a big city, where there was lots to do. So I am praying that he gets to live in a big city, and gets to do what ever it is that he wants/ needs to do in that big city. He will always be my little blond headed boy, smiling up at me no matter where he lives, or how far away.

So as I sit here writing this I am a bit sad, thinking about him moving so far away, but I know he has to make his way in the world. And in his profession you need to be in bigger cities to get better jobs that pay more.

But at no time when my boys were growing up did I ever think that they would live far away from us, just me being a bit naive I think, but the time has come if not this job interview, then the next one, he is going to move; it is just a matter of time. And so I have time to prepare myself, though I can tell you I won't, I will live in denial for as long as I can..... then I will wish him and his wife the best of luck and send them on their way to bigger and better things......

You know life has a way of making you consider things you never thought you would .... in This journey we call life..... Some of them good things and some of them just things..... but no matter where our kids live they are are always our little bundles of joy...... even if they are over 6 feet tall!!!
Blessings to you and yours
Curtis & Sherrie

Life's bumps in the road.....

This week we received a phone call from our youngest son telling us that he is leaving his wife and getting a divorce. He asks if he can move home for a while to regroup,and we said of course.

This was not a total surprise because in their almost 3 years of marriage his wife had done some things that were lets just say very difficult to deal with and leave it at that.

No matter what the situation is ending a marriage is at best difficult. For the two people involved, their families and their friends. Now my first reaction is to want to give her a piece of my mind, she has hurt my baby, my youngest and I want revenge and I want it swift and complete! But my more mature side (and I am talking about my wife now) tells me that I need to calm down and not get involved that it will in time resolve itself. I defer to her recommendations, though I still want to have my say!!!

My son however is the one going through this. We love them, raise them, keep them safe and away from life's hurts and harm. And then they grow up, and we can no longer keep them safe, keep them from getting hurt...... and that hurts us because as parents it is always our job to keep our children safe.

When my son called and we talked for over an hour on the phone, he sounded resolved, a bit defeated, and very solemn. This was not like our fun loving son. But he is hurting and this too will pass. As I start my ranting about how could she do this to you blah blah blah, my son stops me and says " Dad I don't hate her, I am even over being mad at her, I just can no longer live this way. I want to be happy and I want her to be happy and Dad the two of us together do not make each other happy." That took the wind out of my sails, my anger subsided, and I thought WOW, what a mature and wise way to look at this. They are no longer going to be a couple, they are going to go their separate ways, and we are ever thankful that they did not have children.

So my son one of the loves of my life is going to be single again, living at home with his mother and I for a while. That is not such a bad thing. I grieve for the loss of a marriage because I believe in marriage and it is always sad when a marriage ends, because in order for it to get to that point there have been two people who have been suffering and living a life that neither of them thought they would on that wonderful day when they said "I do." We as a family will heal, we will move on, we will always love each other. And I truly in time hope that I can be as thoughtful,and mature as my son and not want to hate this person who has hurt my child. I will pray to that end.

But for now I will have to just say that I will tolerate her if I see her, that I truly do not wish her ill will. I wish for her is that she finds happiness, both with herself and in the future choices she makes. I also wish the same for my son, because, even though I do love him I know that he is not perfect and that he made mistakes too.

So I sign off today with a heavy heart, full of love for a son who is hurting, full of tolerance for a soon to be no longer daughter in law. I will get through this I will learn from this because I feel that everything that happens to a family happens for a reason and we must learn from it, all of us or we are destined to repeat some of the things over and over, and I for one do not want to see my children hurting. So friends love those in your family, love those who married into your family, love those who may be leaving your family, for this is a lesson I am going to have to work on as I travel through this journey called life.

Blessings to you and yours
Curtis & Sherrie

Sunday Dinners

So yesterday was Sunday, ah that wonderful day the last day of the week end, a day of worship, and for you sports fans a day of ... put in the name of the sport , team that you love to see/ watch. I myself am not a big sports fan, in fact I will only see one football game a year and that is the Homecoming game for our families Alma mater.

Yes both my wife and I, and our children all went to the same high school. Central Valley High School, go Falcons!!! And we all try to go to Homecoming each year, we do not always make it but we try. This year all of us are going to be there, my wife and I , our sons and their wives, our best friends from High School, their children a great time to reconnect and just have some fun. But my thoughts wander, this has nothing to do with Sunday Dinners.

Yesterday we invited our boy's and their spouses, and my wife's parents to our home for dinner. Only our oldest son and his wife could make it, as our youngest son and his wife were already going to a Bar B Que at a friends and they were going to watch the football game.

So we were there just the 6 of us breaking bread, eating homemade Lasagna, French Bread, Salad, and of course a wonderful dessert. Not that the food is important, but for what reason I do not know, Sunday's have always been Italian food days at our house, we are not Italian, but I do love Italian food, and I do make a mean Lasagna!

It is the mere act of being together, sharing our lives, our daily grinds if you will, with each other, that makes these time special. Participating in each others lives in a way that draws us closer as a family.

Both of our sons have gotten married over the last 3 years. These dinners have allowed us the wonderful opportunity to get to know our daughter in laws. To share with them, love them, let them know that we are a FAMILY and that we help each other through the good times and the difficult ones.

I love it when we can all get together for times like these. Yesterday was different, somewhat bittersweet, because our son is looking for a new job, in his chosen field of television production, but one that pays more. We have known for some time that he would be looking for a new job, and I must say I have not been looking forward to this, because it will mean that he and his wife will have to move, and not just a few miles away but probably across the country. So yesterday as we sat there laughing, talking, sharing... I was taken back by the mere thought that times like these might be ending soon, that my son and his wife will not be able to come HOME for dinner, to break bread, talk, laugh, and enjoy each others company. My wife and I have never moved from the area that we grew up in, we chose to stay and be close to family, our choice but one that I felt and still do feel was the right choice for our family.

But our son wants to make his own way, make his own life and that includes moving. We know that once he and his wife move they in all likelihood ever live here in our city again. I have so many mixed emotions about this, but I try to put on my supportive good father face and deal with it. I know the day will come, and it will be sooner than I want that they will no longer be able to come to Sunday dinners at our home, but for now I will cherish each and every time that they can come. Savoring their company, my sons wonderful sense of humor, his wife's ability to blend in with this at times crazy family.

So if you have dinners with your family be they on a Sunday or any other day of the week. Enjoy each and every minute you have to spend with your family because you never know how long you may have all of them with you.

Blessings to you and yours
Curtis & Sherrie

Milestones and birthday celebrations

Yesterday my wonderful Mother In Law celebrated her 74th birthday. Ruby or mom, grandma as we all call her is the BEST mother in law a man could ever have.

She raise three wonderful children, two sons, and her wonderful daughter, my wife. She is the most unassuming person you would ever meet. She never wants the spotlight on her always preferring it to be on someone, anyone else. But not on her birthday. We all come to celebrate her birthday. The boys and their wives, my wife and I , it is a small party. Both of my wife's brothers live in other states and they are not able to participate in the celebration, but they are there in spirit.

My mother in law is always there to lend support, love, give of her time. She watched our sons when they were babies and toddlers, as my wife and I worked. She would never consider having us bring the boys to her home oh no, she wanted them to be in their own home with their things and in their surroundings every day. She loves our boys with abandon, I could go on telling stories of the things she has done for our boys through the years to make their lives better but I could not type that many letters... suffice it to say she is a WONDERFUL grandmother.

So last night we celebrated with this wonderful woman, my wife's mother her birthday, with dinner, cake, ice cream, presents. Mom really would have just preferred that we just come for dinner, no presents, no fuss, just having us all together around her dinner table makes her happy.

So as I write this today, I am humbled by this wonderful woman, my mother in law, mom, my wife's mother, my son's grandmother. I am not only humbled by her wonderful spirit, but by her undying love for her family, her husband of 56 years, her grandchildren, her daughter and her third son, yes I consider her my mother, I have known my mother in law, for over 40 years.... So mom Happy Birthday, I love you, for loving me, for raising a wonderful daughter and for loving our son's. You are one of a kind and WE all love you.

Love Curtis

Fall and all its Glory

The weather is getting cooler here in our part of the country. The mornings are cool and crisp, you have to have a light jacket on to go outside, the leaves are just starting to turn, oh glorious Fall.

Every season has it's own unique and wonderful quirks. But Fall is probably my favorite time of the year. We are coming off of the busy summer season, tired from running every weekend. When Fall arrives it is a nice ah ha moment, we all sit a spell, take a deep breath and just relax.

I look forward to the leaves changing and falling , I don't even mind raking the leaves it is a relaxing activity for me. The musty smell of the earth cooling off and moist damp air. Inside the house we cozy up, bring out the Fall throws to warm ourselves with, anticipate the first fire in the fireplace, and yes we actually do burn wood, in a real fireplace not a gas or propane one. The smell of wood burning, sugar cookie candles burning, a roast in the crock pot, a hot steaming cup of coffee aah glorious Fall.

My wife and I look forward to getting out our Fall wreaths, and decorations, we change out the whole house for every season and they are all special but as I said Fall is my favorite. We bring in the warm accent colors of Fall, rust, burgundy, browns, oranges, golds, all warm and inviting to the eye. We make sure that there are lots and lots of candles and we light them all in the evening just to make the house look warm and inviting. We bring in some of the outdoors in, I gather wild grapevines with their leaves still on and use them to decorate the deck and also use them to wrap around our chandeliers, we bring in pine cones, placing them around the house under cloches, on trays, on the mantle, all around to remind us of God's wonder and bounty. Aah Fall how I love thee.

So how do you enjoy Fall? What do you do that makes the transition from Summer to Fall? I would love to hear how others celebrate this wonderful glorious season.
Blessings to you and yours Curtis & Sherrie

We entertain more in the Fall, our house is better adapted for Fall and Winter entertaining, we have a swamp cooler so the summers are too hot for most people. But Fall and Winter we light up the fireplace, light the candles and just enjoy our family and friends.

Life and it's ebbs and flows, the passing of a loved one

Last weekend on Sunday September 05, 2010 my father's brother Charlie passed. As I sit here remembering my childhood there are not very many situations or events that my Uncle Charlie was not part of.

We as a family spent many hours together, camping, hunting, boating, skiing, swimming, breaking bread, and working. Yes working, my Uncle was a self employed fixer of all things and as all of us boys became teenagers and needed/ wanted money, Uncle Charlie always had a job for us to do that he would pay us for. I roofed, pulled weeds, swept, mopped, stacked wood, and did all kind of manual labor for him. He taught me about work ethic, and would on more than one occasion make me do the job over to his satisfaction, to my dismay I might add. But he did teach me about work and its rewards.

He also taught all of us about community, and volunteering, making life better for others who were not as fortunate as we were. You could always call on him to volunteer his time, money, and talent to anything that needed to be done in our small community. As we drive through our small community, you can see tangible evidence of things that he worked on, the Little League fields, the Community Center, the high school football field, and stands. If he could not do the actual labor he could be seen getting others to donate their time and money for community events. He at times appeared to be tireless, always willing to help out.

He and my Aunt were married for 63 years, a very long time. Theirs was not a perfect marriage, not many marriages that I know of are. But it was constant, steady and they loved each other deeply, an example for all of us who followed them into our own marriages. Uncle Charlie had dementia, which in my opinion the worst of all diseases, it robs you of your memory, of the connection to those you love, but those who loved him did not lose their connection. My Aunt went to the hospital every day for 8 months, making sure that he was taken care of, bringing him his meals from home, helping him to eat, loving him, caring for him, being the steady rock for him. His youngest son would also go to the hospital to see his dad, at times waking up with just the feeling that his dad needed him at that time and he would go, taking care of the man who took care of him. Again an example for all of us and our loved ones, to take care of each other, love each other, be there for each other, forgiving each other so that we can do this.

So this week as I have reflected on a life that touched mine in many ways always with love and the wanting of better for me and my family. I have realized just how lucky I was to have been a part of Charlie Chipley's family, how much he and his wife, my Aunt Sue mean to me and my family, and just how much I learned from him through out my life.

I will always love him, love Aunt Sue and their children and grandchildren, because we are all family, no matter the distance between us and there are many miles that separate all of us, we are all tied together by love.

So with this I say so long for now Uncle Charlie you are in a better place, and I will see you again one day. As you are up in heaven with my mom, your mom, your father and countless other family members, smile down on us left here, knowing that all of you who have gone on before us will be there to greet us as they greeted you; into the gates of Heaven. God Speed Uncle Charlie, may you now have the Peace that surpasses all understanding. I love you.

Love your Nephew Curtis

Words........

I must start off by saying that I have had a dry spell and have not been able to write anything for a while and for this I apologize. But this past week has been a life lesson for me, yes you can learn a life lesson even at the age of 53.

And what life lesson is it that you learned you ask??? Well I learned more about words, and how they are used, and interrupted, and how they can soothe someone or cut them to the bone even though that was not the intent. And I learned that those we love the most can be hurt the most by our words, and that my friends is a difficult and hard lesson to learn at any age.

We use words every day, and yet we do not often think about how they are received by the people around us. We say things at times without thinking of the consequences or the impact that they have on those around us. My mother always told us that if we did not have anything nice to say to not say anything at all. This is a very good life lesson, and one that I need to adhere to.

We all say things that we do not think will be hurtful, because in our lack of sensitivity we do not know how any other person will respond to those words, we do not know where that person may be in that particular time of their life, or where they have come from. We say things that we may not find offensive or hurtful, but they can be to others. So .... I learned a very hurtful and hard lesson that I need to make sure that MY words are never hurtful, never mean, never intentionally disrespectful to others. That MY words are comforting, loving, soothing, and that they make the other person walk away feeling loved, appreciated and glad that they made my acquaintance.

I am a very soft hearted person, some say that I wear my feelings on my sleeve, I cry at commercials, weddings, baptisms, in church, heck I cry everywhere! It is because I at times can feel others pain, I have empathy for others, and truly care for people. So when this week end I said words, that hurt another person, I was absolutely crushed, because I have lived my life caring for other people. I would never want to be the one who hurt someone else, yet because of my insensitivity I did just that.

Once the words leave your mouth you can never take them back, and even though you may apologize for them the hurt and pain that they may have caused it still evident to those around you. My wife has a saying and says it all the time because I am always saying I wish this person would do....... and her response is always the same ," You cannot control other people's behavior". She is so right, I cannot control other people's behavior but I can sure control mine.

So as I close this posting, that I must say is not very easy to write.... I ask all of us including myself to always make sure that the words that come from our mouth are kind, gentle, gracious, loving, and comforting. Because once they have left our mouth. they can never be taken back, and sometimes the hurt they cause can be so deep that it may never be healed completely.

Blessings to you and yours
Curtis